Newmans Own Iced Tea, Virgin Lemon-Aided

Made with fresh brewed tea. All natural. Contains 7% real lemon juice. Legend: In the 16th Dynasty, the Warlord, Nu-mahn Ding Bal, who ruled the province of Hi-Tea, pampered his palace plants that produced exotic leaves which he put in iced water and called Tea in honor of his province. His loopy twin brother, Nu-mahn Ding Bat, ruled the neighboring province of Lee-Mon-on-hai, which had prize trees that produced a fruit called Lee-Mon. Each coveted the other's produce. In the great Ding Bat-Bal Battle of Brothers, Ding Bal carried a keg of his tea into combat and Ding Bat carried a basket of his virgin lemons. The war trumpets blared, horses charged and the two brothers collided with such force that both Bat and Bal kicked the bucket. In the collision the kicked bucket was filled with the mush of squished tea and lemon which was collected by the troops and later, when iced, became the peace drink which united the two provinces. Now centuries later, the formula has been entrusted to the American New-man. Here it is.